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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
It's very irony isn't it? At some point of your life, people will be so good to you and then seconds or minutes later, they knock you down. I am still trying my best to get the whole idea. It's not simple, trust me. First of all, june isn't a good month at all. I am looking forward to July. Each day, I live my life with so many quotes running through my head. It's annoying but helpful.
I am still trying to accept the fact. Every fact. I am still smiling despite the fact of how bad my day is. Really, I want to be happy so badly. Happiness doesn't come from someone else. It comes from yourself. If you want to be happy, then so be it. Make yourself happy. Why would you need someone to make you feel happy? Being happy is in a state of mind. It's an opinion, it's a choice. I want to be who I am. I want to be happy and that is how I am going to live my life. Nothing is going to bring me down. I do what I love to do. I want to climb, everyday..if possible. I want to keep myself occupied.
Today is the suckiest day of the week, I hope. But tomorrow is going to be a brand new day. Biochemistry module. Ace it. Go for training, train hard. Once back home, get rj done. Rest and get myself re-charged for another brand new day. I need 8 hours of sleep and that is what I am going to get for myself. I don't want to feel lethargic tomorrow. nope, never. Chemistry UT2 is just around the corner. I am going to study for it, understand it and apply it during UT. It's time Syahirah, it's time. :)
12:58 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Errrr..hello! It's been awhile since I last update my blog. It's dusty over here. haha! So many things happened these past few days.
School's school. I've yet to put my 101% focus in class. haha! I always have urge to partial. :P Nothing much for school. Training's as usual. I went to SP last saturday to support the fellow climbers who were involved in rock master. I wanted to join but to think of it again, I rather not..for now. hahaha!
Life's been quite hectic for me. I wish I could turn back the time but sadly, I can't. For now, I'll just go with the flow. My everyday routine will be like : Off to school in the morning, go for training if there's any, go back home, do rj, watch tv, eat and sleep. I have no time or mood to make new friends for now. I ignored alot of people in msn. hahaha! Sorry to those who are affected. I'd prefer to have just 1 bf and stick with him rather than to have so many friends and mingle around. Seriously, da malas..da rilek. hahaha! Let's just focus on what I want to do now. ;)
12:06 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Hello earthlingsssss.....school was school, for now. hahahaha!! Monday training was a little bit tough for myself. My finger strength is still not good enough. I am so tempted to join Rock Master but to think of it again, I don't want to dissapoint myself. As far as I am concern, I still have a long way to go. :) Lets take one step at a time, there's no need to rush. It's like learning to fly, or falling in love. :) :)
I just had my anatomy UT 1 in the evening. I'm glad I did some revision and notes before I entered the facilitation room. It wouldn't be an easy test for me if I were sleep yesterday and skip revision. Thank god :).
I am re-organizing my planner. I just feel that there is a need for me to re-adjust something here and there. I'm short of cash for now. I am depending on my tuition's pay. $100 per month isn't enough to support myself. Moreover, I don't easily get stuff from my parents anymore. Yea, I could not longer get what I want from my dad. I need to use my own money for my own stuffs. I have yet to buy my own rock climbing shoe. I have a very strong feeling that dad isn't going to get rock climbing shoe for me. :/ Everyone of the climbers are getting a shoe for themselves. eeeeiikkkkk! Neverrrrrmind! Like what shahrin always says, it isn't always about the shoe you know. :) But what I'm actually talking about is...HOW CAN I GET EXTRA INCOME FOR MYSELF WHEN I AM FULLY BOOK ON MON-SUNDAY?? =.=!! I am occupied with training on monday, wednesday and friday. I will be tutoring on tuesday and thursday. Saturday - free. Sunday- mentoring 9am - 12 afternoon. I can't seem to find a day for myself. Wait, only Saturday but with whom can I spend my Saturday with? hmmmm... I wonder. My birthday is in less than 2 weeks. I hope dad will buy for me a new phone because I badly need one. I really really hope it would be an iPhone. ;) And ohhh...it would be greeaaaaat-er if I were to be given $50 for a mini shopping spree. Singapore is having GSS at the moment. I'm sure that I can get alot of things for myself with just $50. :) Pleeaasseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. hahahaha!! Anyway, i'm not hoping for a grand party on my birthday. What I really wish for is to be able to spend the day with love ones and I want to laugh and smile and feel happy all day. :) I don't want to feel sad at all.
Ok ok, enough of those wishful things. :/ I should worry more about how to organize my planner and start a new hobby for myself. :) Goodnight!
6:49 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
School commence tomorrow. I had my 2 weeks off anf it's time for me to tune myself to school and training mode. Everyone will literally say that " I will do better when school's re-open " but when the day really comes, it doesn't really happen. HAHA! It goes the same for me. I've always want to do well in school and pay more attention in class but as always, to no avail. Well, let's see when tomorrow arrives yeah. :) Tomorrow's microbiolgy and I'll be having Anatomy UT 1 on Tuesday. tsk!! I've yet to revise on that one! =____=!
There's training tomorrow. Beat says that the training will be much tougher than the previous one. wooooohhh!! I'm scared but axcited at the same time. I couldn't do a single pull up and I'm very dissapointed. haha! Like what the seniors say, slooooooowly you can do it. It takes time :) Parents and the little rascals are coming back home today! YEAAAYY!!! I miss them so much okay! I've always thought that it would be a great HOME ALONE but during the past 2 days, I've always wish that I was there together with them. It's been quite awhile since we had holidays together like how we used to. :/ But it's alright. The most important thing here is, they're coming home!!!! woooohooooo! I'm sure they miss my cat cici like a lot!!!! :D
Alright then. May all of you have the greatest holiday ever! Make full use of it! ;)
12:44 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
8:50 PM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Let me start with the 3 days 2 night camp.
The camp commenced on the 8th June, Tuesday at 9 in the morning. I went with Nursha. She's in another IG, Alps. I waited for the rest of the 3 boys at 7/11 and then we headed to sports complex for further details about the camp. The first day of the camp was to gather all 8 different adventure interest groups. That include Alps. Mountaineering, Trekking, Canoeing, Kayaking, Adventure racing, Rock climbing and Astronomy. It's motive was to bond the 8 different IGs together. :) I was the only girl in rock climbing who turned up for the camp. The other rock climbing girl came from the senior, khairah. A total of 9 climbers when we actually have 20++ climbers. HAHA! The first day of camp was awesome. I got to meet the other adventurers from different IGs. It was great to make new friends. By 6pm, the camp ended and we all went to our respective IG camp. So, the climbers gathered outside the OSG room and waited for further notice. Once done, we had our dinner and proceed to our sleeping area. We slept at the grand stand. HAHA!!! That night was fun. Jabir scared me by introducing me to this virtual tarrot named Peter. HAHAHA! The rest were scared too. It was freaking scary at first okayy but eventually, Jabir told me the secret and I ain't scared anymore. hahaha. We all couldn't sleep. I only knocked out at 5.30 in the morning and we all had to wake up at 8.30.
On the 2nd day, we played bonding games. Just like how sukashi said, it is a boooooooonding came. hahaha! *inside joke. By 2pm, we made our way to climb asia. All of us looked like a zombie due to lack of sleep. Some didn't sleep at all. We climbed from 2pm to 9pm. I was dead tired. Besides, after 10 sets of endurance, we had to do 5 sets of 20 push ups, 20 sit ups, 20 dips and 20 leg raise. WAAAAHHHH!!!!!! I was dying I tell you. And I still owe beat (my coach) 7 pull ups. =___________=! So, we reached RP at 9pm ish. I headed home since parents and brother are going for a holiday. The rest went for a night walk at the Admiralty park. nyeahahahahaha! Besides, I wasn't feeling well. :/
Anyway, parents and brother went to KL this morning. I hope you guys had fun! :) I wish I could tag along because by the time I reached home, things weren't good for me. It would be great if I could follow them for a short getaway. :/ My headache is getting worse and I'm working tomorrow and I'm having level 1 course on saturday. I'll be very very tired. Sunday is the only day for me to mug for my anatomy because school's starting on Monday. Yeah, my off day is on Tuesday and I have to go back school next tuesday for Anatomy UT 1. =.=! Well, I hope school's going to be fun for me and may all the modules are easier to solve. HAHAHAHA!!!
I'm pretty much sad here but I have to stay strong. Till here earthlings. Toodles. :)
7:34 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Monday, June 7, 2010
I am pretty much mentally exhausted. I felt moody for the past few days. Naahhh, Im not having my pms. Just some random moodswings. This moodswings is taking it's toll on me. Yeahh yeaahh, say whatever you want to say. I don't care.
Everything is not right. I put up a fake smile most of the time and it isn't fun at all. Where's my faith? Where's my spirit? I don't fcuking know where it goes to. What I know, I need someone to be just there. But I know there's none because I've been drilled to this head of mine that no one is going to be there for you except yourself. Fcuk it! I'm tired of depending EVERYTHING all by myself. I ain't bo superwoman.
I think I know why I am like this. I just don't want to tell it. I'd rather held it in. But fcuk! Till when? At times, I just feel like shouting and spill everything off. I don't care whether or not it's my fault but I just want to spill it out. urggh, I shouldn't be writting it down here. No point. This damn feeling wouldn't dissapear anyway.
I feel so negative. ya ya ya! fcuk lahh! tsk! see, so many vulgarities.
where's my hero?
8:30 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
I can foresee that June isn't going to be a gd month for me ;'(.
10:37 PM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Ulcer on my throat and cheek. Emotional breakdown. Sick.
8:15 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Friday, June 4, 2010
I must say that things are changing at home. Back then when I was little, I got what I want without any hesitation. For example " Ayah..nak ni! ". Straight away belik siol!! hahahahaha! It continued over couple of years and I got used to it. At times when dad was doubtful to buy me those stuffs, I would sulk and then he will change his mind. Awesomeeeeee right!! Mom said that I am dad's child. Duhhh!!! hahahahahaha. But as I grow older, when I got a job and find some cash to support myself, I don't really get what I want. It's quite frustrating to me because it's no longer the same old daddy anymore. HAHAHA!!! Yesterday, I asked dad " Ayah! blanje kakak sluar jeans yah..$40 je ". Straight away NO siol!!! Then I said " okok, ayah byr $20 kakak byr $20 ". He was still in doubt okayyy..wah fed up. tsk! Anndddddddd as usual, I gave him my sullen face. He came up to me and handed me $50, BUTTTT!!!!!! He said " Ayah kasi ni $50, tolong ayah belik vitasoy, then $20 pakai belik sluar. Tapi janji nanti kalau da belik sluar jeans tu, sluar jeans yg pendek tu kasi Ibu nanti Ibu buang. Then besok pegi cuci toilet smuer ".
I'm like =________________________________________=!!!!! Wah, this time round ah, I must do something then get money. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! But to think of it again, I must get used to it. I must remind myself that it's not dad's fault to treat me like this. He wants to help me to be more mature and set up good example for my younger sibling. tsk! Sometimes I really wish that I have an elder brother. HAHAHAHA!!!! Any takers? LOL. Just kidding. :) It's like dad is depending on me now and I don't quite like it but I have to accept it. It's for my own good. Sooner or later in the future when I have my own family, I don't want my kids to be a spoilt brat like me. HAHAHA! hey heyyy... I was ONCE a spoilt brat. But not so terok okaayyy!! ;)
So, I spend today with my beloved family. Headed to sun plaza with mom and the little rascals. muahahahaha!!!! Went to have our lunch at Mc Donald. Quarter pounder for me babbyyy! Afterwhich, went to flip flop shop and bought slipper for my lil brother. Mom was walking inside the flip flop shop with me when she saw nuabs sandals. In my heart, I was like " ohhh no! ". So she said " ehhh, ni mcm sandal kakak je ". I said " a'ah ler..sandal nuabs ". Skali aaahh, she looked at the price and she was like " MAHALNYERR!!!!!!!!! *shake head ". Then sister said " $90++!!! Puas hati duit tu kasi org seh ". There goes the secret of not revealing the price of the sandal. cheettt!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Dad then came over and ruin the "jalan-jalan mood". HAHA!!! He just arrived you know and he was like " ehhh, faster2 want to go back home. Want to pray for Asar ". =____=!!!!! But, we didn't head home. yeayyy!! Managed to persuade dad hor. Went to Al-Khair mosque to have our Asar prayer and then went to IMM giant and daiso. I bought another 2 brown belts and some undergarments for myself at Giant. HEHEEEE!!! Once done, car-ed home. HAHAHA! Got sch thing meh--> car-ed home? HAHAHA!!!
Heading to ZOO tomorrow with boyfriend and his family. Eeeeik! I is so excited! It's been so long since I last visit the Zoo okayy. I miss all the animals there especially the monkeyssss! ;) Will be meeting them at Kranji mrt, 8.30am. Okayy okayy, I'm done for today and toodles!
5:56 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Okay babies. Here's a proper update. Yesterday outing spells A-W-E-S-O-M-E! Right girlsss? hehehehehe! Yes yes, I had fun with my lovely ladies. It's been quite awhile since we last meet and catch up on each other's life. What I know, there's so many laughters between us. I like! I love it when my girls are happy and laughing. It makes me a happy kid too! And oh, the helix bridge was awesome! I love the structure and surprisingly, it has something to do with the nucleotide of DNA. Fyi, the helix bridge is inspired by the structure of our DNA. Our DNA has a helix structure. It's helix because DNA has 4 nucleotide. Ok ok, no need to go further. HAHA! I didn't know it was stirred by the DNA structure until I saw the nucleotide names on the floor.HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Right after the helix bridge, we girls took bus 106 to plaza sing. We bought some finger foods and drinks and then chilled at this particular park opposite the istana. It's a chilling place to chill. LOL!! After which, headed to causeway point and met up with nadz. We had our dinner at Mc Donald and it was then gf Mas and gf Nadz intro us with this mindfreak game called BLACK MAGIC. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Another awesome moments spent together with the ladiesssss. :) :) :) Anddddd.. I am looking forward to the next outing! :D
Today, I rotted at home till 4pm. I headed to school for rock climbing training. Wah, the first part of the training very jia lat! After which, bouldering till 8.30pm. Got changed, bathed and meet the rest outside. Went to banquet to eat BUT, nazahah and myself didn't get to eat because the shop's closing. tsk!!! The guys got to eat because they left me, nazahah and azfar. haha! tsk tsk tsk. Now, I am craving for Fried Cockle Kway Teow. Friday's training is either at Safra yishun or Climb asia. I is so sexcited okaaaaayyyy!!!
Pictures of the outing is at my facebooooook. toodles earthlings.
If you ever wonder why human keep on facing the same old problem over and over again, well remind yourself of the black clouds. It comes and goes and it appear over and over again. Sometimes, you just have to bite the bullets and accept it. Don't sigh.
7:56 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Today=Awesome!goodnight, and I'm uglyyyyyyyyy fcuker!
and I can't stop thinking about it. hiakdussssh!!!
7:56 AM
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
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