A very difficult day it was. So much of emotions to handle. Rusty chain of thoughts followed by crazy emotions. Damn! What a bizarre day. I felt stranded with no one to rescue me. I played songs to sooth my emotions and put my thinking cap to stop me from doing something stupid. I embraced my patience and hold my tears. My energy were used up. Been laying on my bed aimlessly waiting for god to send someone to make my frown upside down.

Staying at home doesn't help at all. Nothing much to do but to watch tv. Mom and sister doing their own sweet thing while I am trying to fix my day. Been there and done that but NOTHING works. Finally, a " haha " from his text messages. That entirely ease me. Even if it was a word, it still does made a lot of impact on me. A "haha" means he's okay, I hope. A little hope that shows he's okay out there made a lot of difference in my life. Huge alteration. :)

For now, let the rest of my thoughts strummed away within myself. Good night.

This post is dedicated to my dearest boyfriend.

29 November 2007, a day and a date I will never forget and is truly missed by me up till this very moment. I still remember those days. Those sweet sms, long phone calls we had are still vivid and it is still missed till this day. I've never been more sure that you're the one I wanna be with and you're the one that I wanna grow old with. One thing that I couldn't believe is that we are still staying strong after nearly 2 years. I can't believe that I am able to achieve something like this with you, with someone whom I love. You, you make this go far. You stay when the rest walked out of my life. You. Without you, there's no US.

You've become an essential part of my life and I am sure that you're the one. A year and 11 months is really no fun and games. We've gone through thick and thin, high and low, smooth and rough, hell and heaven. Thank you for rooting during those rough times. Thank you for turning my frown upside down. Thank you for holding my hand up till this very moment. Thank you for still hugging me. Thank you for believing in me. And thank you for holding my hands during those bittersweet journeys we've gone through. You could have let go of my hand during tose times but you held on tight.

Shahrin, happy 23rd monthsary. I want to say that I'm always happy with you and I can never been more sure of that. Forgive me for all my flaws. But just so you know, of all those thing that I've done, seeing and making you smile is the most vital one to me. I hope you're smiling right now. :D Your smile makes my heart skip faster and myself go crazier. haha.

To cap it all off, I Love you..so much and no one could have ever replace you in my heart. Muacks!

Above were yesterday's pictures. Bf, Munir and myself went over to bbcc to celebrate a mini hari raya celebration with the mentees and parents. We were supposed to reach by 9 but us being us, we reached at 9.30am. :) Once reach, nothing much. Bf did a lil bit of revision with his mentees while I played game with mine. Malas nak ajar. By 10.30am, we headed to another room to start the mini celebration. Bla bla bla, we went off right after we finished eating. haha!! I then went home and went out with family and cousins. :)

So today, headed to bf's crib and woke him up. Nak suroh mandi pon susaaaaaaah!!!!! Once done, went to my aunt's crib and met Ulfah with boyfriend. We then took taxi to SPCA. Oh, Ulfah took this little tiny kitten. End up, her mom doesn't want to have it because they have a cat at home already. So I suggest to her instead of abandoning the kitten, why not take it to SPCA. They might accept it and take good care of it. Once reached, went to the reception centre and a guy told me to read this particular paper first. I was SOOOO SHOCK!! It says thet the kitten will be put to sleep 24 hours reason because they are left with not much space, which indirectly means, they will inject the kitten and the kitten will die. pffft! So sad laaah!! There's NO WAY I will let them kill the kitten!!! So, I took the kitten back to my house. And now, the little white kitten is sleeping beautifully. :D Thanks boyfriend for the company.

Well, I better get going. Nothing much to say. Hari raya outing tomorrow with the 4e4 and 4e5. see you guys tomorrow and of course, see ya tomorrow bf, my ex chairman. ;D

I don't know how to make lots of money
I got debts that I'm trying to pay
I can't buy you nice things, like big diamond rings
But that don't mean much anyway
I can't give you the house you've been dreaming
If I could I would build it alone
I'd be out there all day, just hammering away
Make us a place of our own

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

I don't know that I'd make a good soldier
I don't believe in being violent and cruel
I don't know how to fight, but I'll draw blood tonight
If somebody tries hurting you

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

Now that it's out on the table (it's out on the table)
Both of us knew all along (knew all along)
I've got your loving and you've got my song

I don't know how to make lots of money
I don't know all the right things to do
I can't say where we'll go, but the one thing I know
Is how to be a good man to you
Until I die that's what I'll do

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without
I will write you a song (I will write you a song)
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong (love is still strong)
I will write you a song
And you know from this song that I just can't go on without you

I have a dream. A very big dream. A dream that I would want to make it happen.

Hellooo readers. :)

How's your raya? Mine was great. It was hectic on the 1st and 2nd day. That was normal. Especially on the first day. So as usual, family and I went to the maternal side first followed by the paternal side. I was so happy to be able to meet all of my cousins. Aaaawww...We went out at 12 plus in the evening and got back home at 12-ish in the morning. I swear to god I was dead beat. Macam nk tercabot lutut org! hahas.. Well, more pictures at my facebook. :) Click on the " hari raya pictures " above.

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRIIII!!!!! :D

Time flies so fast that in just a blink of an eye, it's the month of syawal already. :)

So...my day went well. I woke up at 11 plus and took my shower. Once done, got changed and called boyfriend. krang krung krang krung, tak angkat2..fyi, it's very very VERY difficult to wake boyfriend up from his beautiful sleep. Tried and tried, finally he picked up. He asked me to come over to his place while waiting for him to take his shower and got ready. Once reach, he still can dilly dally take his shower! hahaha..well, typical mohd shahrin bin ali. :) Then, helped boyfriend changed his bed sheet and stuffs. Talked to his mom about how she made the lepat and bla bla blaa...Boyfriend and I then walked to bangkit. I bought my contact lens there. Settled, we walked back to boyfriend's house and chilled. Boyfriend's mom cooked alooooooooooooot of dishes okay ; sambal goreng, rendang, ketupat, lepat, ayam masak merah, kuah satay, kuah lodeh. :D Afterwhich, bf's dad send me home. The end...hahahaha!

Well, my house's done!! Finally nice and cleeaaaann. :) okay okay.

Sempena hari yg mulia ini, syahirah ingin mengucapkan selamat hari raya kepada semua umat islam. Dan juga, saya ingin menyusun 10 jari memohon maaf jika ada terkasar bahasa. Halalkan minum dan mkanan ku. ok?? :) Semoga sekalian berbahagia disamping keluarga dan orang yg disayang. Aminnnn..

2 more days till syawal. Finally, I am done with my room. yeayness!! But I am not happy with the curtain luhh. I want new curtain so that my room looks soooo fresh bebey! My room also wants to celebrate syawal also okay. :) Next up, the living room. Okay, ni part ader sikit liat nak kemas. haha! Mom is arranging flowers in the vase. She keep on asking me " kak ni boleh tk? ", " ah kak! ni lawa kan? ". hahaha! Tomorrow's friday, I want to go Daiso but my butt feels like sitting at home. =.= how?? Well, we'll see how. And oh, just now in the afternoon as I was watching tv..someone knocked on the door. I opened and I saw a man holding a big hamper. He said " is Mr Gapor in? This is for him. ". I was like ????!! My dad received a hamper!! Shocking to the core. hahahaha! In the hamper itself was juice extractor, grape juice and loads of snacks. wah!! happy skejapan the whole family. Now that I have the juice extractor, I can make my own fruit juice. yeahooooooooooo!!!!!

Hmmmm, have you ever feel that your life is pathetic? I once feel that way but no longer now. Eversince I went to Bangalore, I've learnt to appreciate my life more. I used to brag how boring my life was during holidays with nothing to do. But now, no matter how boring my life is, I learnt to appreciate it. I mean, I'm unsure of how long I would live in this world. I might die tomorrow or worst, later. Life's too short to prioritize my ego. I don't want my life to be filled with sorrowness. At times, I had my hard times but atleast, I've learnt to laugh and smile even if it strikes me. For example today. Had a tiff with someone. God knows how moody I was. Been giving so many miss calls. Not to irritate, but to wake that person up. Guess it was irritation to that someone. Well, I understand. My bad than. Tell me what other ways I could use to wake you up? It was 6.30pm already. Little that person know, I miss him. Usually when this happens, I frowned the whole day. But please, I've learnt my lesson. I might die today and I don't wanna die with a frown on my face. no good. :) Despite that burning heart of mine, I am still able to smile and laugh and joke along with my family. God send dearest cici to me. :) Even if all cici does is to meow or stay mute, I appreciate its presence. Cici is soooooooooooooooooooooo cute!! :D

" Everyone wants to be the sun that brightens up your life. Well I'd rather be the moon that shines on you during your darkest hours ".

To you, happy lepak-ing.

Final Destination 4 3D yesterday was awesome! It was very very and I again emphasize the word VERY, gore. haha! I bet Gf Izzi had describe the movie very well in her blog. hehh!! We catched the 5pm show and it ended at 6.30pm. Only 1 1/2 hour. I want it loooonger please!! The 3D effect makes it more awesoooooome. My jaw dropped like 2-3 times okay. haha! Gf Izzi and myself rate the movie 9/10!! Mas, you should have watched it! :P

Once done, ew made our way to PS and met mas at Pastamania. Yes, we had pastas for break fast. I had beef lasagne. yummey!! It was a pity that gf Mas pasta was super spicy. haha! tu lah, pilih mkanan tk nk check dulu, main order jek. Kn dah kepedasan! hahaha. Had loads of fun yesterday with them girls. :) A lot of rubbish said during our conversations. hahaha!! After which, we take a stroll and then Gf Ms had to parted ways since she's meeting her bf. So left Gf Izzi and myself. We chilled our ass at Ngee An City. Had a very looooong and deep talk. :) Then, home sweet home.

Today was like any other day. I woke boyfriend up at 10am since he had to go Fajar sec. Nothing much at home. I have yet to clean my room. Not tomorrow. I'll do it on Friday and Saturday. Last minute, but I like it that way. yeahaaaa!!! And oh, boyfriend broiught home another kitten and I am going to see it tomorrow!! eeik! I cannot wait! and I cannot wait to meet you arin ah! I miss you. :)

Alright, I shall end here.

xoxo, syahirah.

Reality check, my dearest cici has groooown!!! hahaha. Take a look at him bebey.

Today's just like any other day. The two brothers went to school while momsie and lil sissy went to Geylang after sending the brothers. As for me, I stayed at home and looked after my cici. :) Well, cici is a very pampered kitten and I like it that way. With cici's presence, I don't feel lonely at home anymore. Everytime I look cici play around, it bring smile on my face. Aaawww...hahaha. Ok ok cut the crap. Sooooooo, this year, the ladies ( me, sissy and momsie ) are wearing black bebey! and as for the guys ( dad and bro ), they will be wearing white. So, its black and white bebey!

Well, sissy just bought her baju raya and it cost $60 while it cost me $80++! eeeeeeiikkkkk!!!! not fair! hehh!! nevermind. rice dah jadi porridge. haha! I will be having a date tomorrow with Gf Izzi. ;) yeayness! Will be watching FD4 at The Cathay. I am soooo going to take loads and loadsss of pictures!! :) Raya is commencing in 6 days time. wee hooo!! I can't wait. Bf and I will be wearing black this year and as for bf and family, they are wearing purple. haha. cute colour!!

And oh, today is boyfriend gaming day. He has been gaming since 5.45pm till 10pm. Siao ting tong kan tu bf?? Current pat Mac D naek jgak sei pasal korg2 yg gaming pat saner. haiyoooo! Slap forehead. hehh!! Anyways, nothing much left to say. Off to do my report. Toodles!!

p.s: My boyfriend is a gamer. :p

Im left with another 800 words for my report!! hoooooray!! =.=

Alright, put that report and ppt aside. I am still working on it. The more I drag the work, the more irritated I become. urgh! So...today was just like any other day. Parents and lil bro went to JB while lil sissy and myself went to breakfast at aunt's crib. Boyfriend came along too. We had chicken chop auntie style. yummmmey!!!! :) So yeah, that's all about today. Nothing much. Dull yeah? nahh, I don't mind because I learn to appreciate every single time I had in this world. :D

7 more day till Aidilfitri. I am done with all my stuffs. I am recycling my handbag for raya. I don't think there's a need for me to get a new one because the old one still can be use. :) The house is still messy! ppppppffft! Well, that could be done in just a blink of an eye. hah!!! There's still cookies to be done. Momsie and I are making it next moday. We're only left with choc chip cookies and strawberry tarts. I think. Anyhoos, will break fast at granny's house tomorrow. See lah, how to kemas rumah..always break fast at people's crib. LOL. And oh, I can't wait for next tuesday! Will be watching FD4 with Gf Izzi. yeaaahness!! :D

shuuuuuucks! There's mentoring tomorrow. Can I not attend? =.= no no! I have to come and collect my overdue cheque. haiyaaaaaa. If it wasnt for the cheque, I would absent myself. I feel like quitting but uhh, that's too risky. I'm too busy or should I say, LAZY. I just want to sit at home and spend time with my family. Can i quit but I still get the cheque every month? haha!! wait long long.

p.s: I've learned that patience is the virtue. :) goodnight.

In the middle of raya's preparation, I have to do a 1000 words report on my study strip follow up with a ppt. =.= How great is that? Seriously, I'm so effing lazy. But nevermind, I'll do it just for the sake of doing it. pffft!

I have yet to post any entry about my India trip. First, I am freaking lazy to upload dozens of pictures. Secondly, NO TIME to post a long entry. My brain is dead. =.=

Nothing much for today. Woke up at 12 plus. Bathed and got changed then off to send Izzi's cookies. Afterwhich, met up with aunt and cousin at Lot 1. Bought my raya shoe at Mondo. Very cheap! Only 19.90, but nice. :) bla bla bla...Now, Im at home cracking up my brain cells about what to write for my report. hahh!!! bye ah!

p.s: Today is boyfriend pms day. =.=

7 September 2009, Monday

7th September was the day whereby my dearest boyfriend brought me to the Army Open House. It's a place which I've been aiming for quite some time already. It has always been a dream for me to dress up like a soldier or learn more about army life. Since I was very young, my parents and cousins used to ask me this: " kakak da besar nk jadi aper? " and I replied, " da besar nak jadi soldier ah! ". I said it with so much of passion. haha! Finally, I got to be one for a day. I am so freaking happy, I swear. Thanks to boyfriend. :) I got to hold sar 21 with my bare hands, face painting,shooting. It was an awesome experience. I also did try some of the obstacles. yippeeeeeeeee.

So yeah, I just got back from India on that day but I put aside all my tired-ness and proceed to the open house. C'mon man! It's an opportunity that I swear I don't want to miss. hahahas. I managed to take a nap and then off to meet boyfriend at cck mrt. We headed to joo koon mrt and from there we walked to discovery centre first. Than, we took the shuttle bus to the open house. I swear to god I was enthusiastic. :) Shasha and hasnim then joined us. We didnt managed to try everything there but I must say that those things we tried were superb. :D

Once done wih everything, we took bus 193 to Jurong Point and break fast at kfc. After which, boyfriend send me home and he slacked awhile at my house. By 9.45pm, he went home. Again, thank bby for the day. Muaaaacks!! :D

Finally, I am back home. Yes, to my country Singapore. I need a long break and *@!% those meetings because I couldn't be bothered. Sorry, I need my rest. And holiday means holiday. I don't want to go back schoooool. urgh! I am so blardy tired. I want to sleep and sleeep and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Will update more about the study trip as soon as I have my gd rest. For now, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD NIGHT.