A Big Dreamer

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Today is the suckiest day of all. Friday, maths module. I came to school with flue and a slight fever. Thanks to sissy for passing it to me yesterday. It'a partly my fault because I shared drink and muffin with her. Yes, I am so clever. :) Yesterday night, I had told myself that I will try my best in maths class today and if I totally can't do it, I'll stay in class and just get the daily grade. But guess what? That's all bullshit. hehh! Yes, I managed to stay in class til 1.15pm and the whole gang also partial. haha! Aishah, Sha, Naz, Me and Haikal. The funny part was, all of us calculated our gpa a few hours back. I got freak out, Sha freak out, Haikal freak out! Yes, we FREAK OUT! Only god knows why okay. Sha cried, while I chilled. Yes, I chilled but in my mind, I was like " die die die die die die die! ". After freaking out, we reminded each other not to partial but the next thing I knew, Sha packed her bag followed by Aishah and then me and last but not least Naz. We packed up haikal's bag for him too. HAHAHA! This is so sick! I guess today isn't a good day to start with. Some with personal matters while some just got irritated by the class. haha! Very funny I tell you. So yeah, I'm currently in the school library with all of them. haha!

Yes, I calculated my gpa. 2 options for me.. FIX IT or FUCK IT. Guess Imma FIX IT. Nope, no way I'm going to fuck it. Like hellooooo! It's my GPA!!! I don't want to repeat any module especially maths! Maths managed to make all of us crazy today. Maths managed to make Sha cried. Maths managed to make me feel so fuck up but the bottom line is, WE allow maths to do all of that to us. So, FUCK US! haha! ok ok, both us and maths suck. Fair enough. :) I've no idea how to fix it up. Not even 1 idea. All I know is, if I don't find any solution for my maths module, I am going to end up repeating it. HELL NO! I screwed up my sem 2. YES! Let me confess again, I LET MYSELF SCREW UP MY SEMESTER 2. FUCK ME! Look at me now, so tired and stress. Thinking about this and that, paranoing here and there. But I know I can't go on like this. It's never too late now. I need to make full use of the time given to pull up my socks and work my srawny ass!! How? That is for me to worry about. And yes, I regret. But regretting doesn't solve anything. I have to put that regret aside and start to put in effort in my academic because again, I don't want to carry another burden of regret on my shoulder. Enough is enough. Time to put all my words into action. I gotta be strong. I gotta have faith. Work it out. That's what I need to do.

To Sha, crying doesn't mean that you're weak and stress does not have to be you cutting your wrist. okay? This is life and we choose this path. We're young adult and we make our own decision. When we make our own decision, we take responsible of the consequences. Like I said, it's never too late. We'll pull it through.

To Aishah, you gotta be strong. I know it's hard but as a friend, I hate to see you falling apart. I know you're strong. You are already strong by making the effort to come school despite of your situation right now. Hold on, everything will be okay but if it's not okay.. it does not mean THE END. :)

Alright, I guess I'll stop here and contemplate on what I should do. Toodles. :)

9:27 PM
Yours truly.

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	Thursday, January 21, 2010 Today is the suckiest day of all. Friday, maths module. I came to school with flue and a slight fever. Thanks to sissy for passing it to me yesterday. It'a partly my fault because I shared drink and muffin with her. Yes, I am so clever. :) Yesterday night, I had told myself that I will try my best in maths class today and if I totally can't do it, I'll stay in class and just get the daily grade. But guess what? That's all bullshit. hehh! Yes, I managed to stay in class til 1.15pm and the whole gang also partial. haha! Aishah, Sha, Naz, Me and Haikal. The funny part was, all of us calculated our gpa a few hours back. I got freak out, Sha freak out, Haikal freak out! Yes, we FREAK OUT! Only god knows why okay. Sha cried, while I chilled. Yes, I chilled but in my mind, I was like " die die die die die die die! ". After freaking out, we reminded each other not to partial but the next thing I knew, Sha packed her bag followed by Aishah and then me and last but not least Naz. We packed up haikal's bag for him too. HAHAHA! This is so sick! I guess today isn't a good day to start with. Some with personal matters while some just got irritated by the class. haha! Very funny I tell you. So yeah, I'm currently in the school library with all of them. haha! Yes, I calculated my gpa. 2 options for me.. FIX IT or FUCK IT. Guess Imma FIX IT. Nope, no way I'm going to fuck it. Like hellooooo! It's my GPA!!! I don't want to repeat any module especially maths! Maths managed to make all of us crazy today. Maths managed to make Sha cried. Maths managed to make me feel so fuck up but the bottom line is, WE allow maths to do all of that to us. So, FUCK US! haha! ok ok, both us and maths suck. Fair enough. :) I've no idea how to fix it up. Not even 1 idea. All I know is, if I don't find any solution for my maths module, I am going to end up repeating it. HELL NO! I screwed up my sem 2. YES! Let me confess again, I LET MYSELF SCREW UP MY SEMESTER 2. FUCK ME! Look at me now, so tired and stress. Thinking about this and that, paranoing here and there. But I know I can't go on like this. It's never too late now. I need to make full use of the time given to pull up my socks and work my srawny ass!! How? That is for me to worry about. And yes, I regret. But regretting doesn't solve anything. I have to put that regret aside and start to put in effort in my academic because again, I don't want to carry another burden of regret on my shoulder. Enough is enough. Time to put all my words into action. I gotta be strong. I gotta have faith. Work it out. That's what I need to do. To Sha, crying doesn't mean that you're weak and stress does not have to be you cutting your wrist. okay? This is life and we choose this path. We're young adult and we make our own decision. When we make our own decision, we take responsible of the consequences. Like I said, it's never too late. We'll pull it through. To Aishah, you gotta be strong. I know it's hard but as a friend, I hate to see you falling apart. I know you're strong. You are already strong by making the effort to come school despite of your situation right now. Hold on, everything will be okay but if it's not okay.. it does not mean THE END. :) Alright, I guess I'll stop here and contemplate on what I should do. Toodles. :) 9:27 PM Yours truly.	Yours Truly Syahirah. 18. Republic Poly. Pharmaceutical Science. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day. And oh, don't forget to fly. Music Playlist at MixPod.com Click please Links Beads&Ribbons Gf Raudhah Gf Nadz Gf Izzi Gf Leeyan Gf Sasha Gf Anisah Zelah Mr Ng Fatin kidd Andy ShaSha Hasnim Hazirah Lala Parker Sissy Syuu Abg Isk Afiq Heedayah Hyraah Shasha Rockstar Atiqah kasha amira rp daniel rp Syahidah rp Syuee rp Salim rp Nadhirah chiron Atikah chiron Shaihah chiron Nazahah chiron Alif Hakim dhilah sue rp luqman hakim tiqsy Nizzam Abby Ulfah Jolene Aishah Archives May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 Credits Biggest credit: the bikini boy Editor: JollyPills/:B