<Image and video hosting by TinyPic>
Friday, December 11, 2009


" It's hard to tell my mind to stop loving someone when my heart still does "


This is killing me slowly. It kills me when you say that we will both move on with someone new in our life and that we are just memory. That sentence kills me. I don't want to be with someone new. I want to be with you. I am so calm next to you. You assured me. It's killing me inside. I have no appetite to eat. I have no energy to continue living. Being with you makes me happy and the reason why I put on so much weight. I have so many energy for life when I'm with you. What am I suppose to do now? I hate this. I hate myself. I hate the fact that I can't let you go. I hate it. I just want to be next to you. I know that's selfish but this is killing me slowly. Reality bites but this fact bite me even harder. I know I am strong. I know I can face this. But I just need him. I feel like calling him now but I know I will disturb him. He's having his test next week. I don't want to disturb him. Oh god, this is so painful. But I just need to know if he regret being with me and tell me that I am strong and he's proud of me. :( But no, I can't go on like this. I want to make him proud. I want him to know that I am strong and I can live by my own. :(

Hopefully, we can get new book for new chapter. :( *praying hard. You mean a lot to me and I will always be by your side when you need me. I love you too much, I swear. If only this heart can speak so that you'll understand. You'll always be the one I love, whole heartedly. Even if you find your new love in the future, Im still here praying for you and your family. I know you'll be happy and when you're happy, I am happy too. My heart is broken but I still need to move on.

Shahrin, you'll always be the one whom I've been waiting for all my life.

11:43 PM
Yours truly.