I'm struggling. I'm struggling with school life. I am becoming lazy to go to school. I hate school. I hate the environment. I always feel sleepy when Im in class. I don't like my friend especially Lina. eeeik! Science are getting tougher by the day. Calculations start to come in for chemistry. Complexity starts to be visible for biology. Physics and Mathematics are never in my heart while cognitive is just a waste of time. haizzz....I've lost that passion I once had. I drag my feet to school and it's hard for me to focus. I hate it when Im like this. I can't control myself. I always give in to my "devil" side. I fcuking hate it!!!! And now, Im lazy to mug for my UT 1. seriously, LAZY! =.= aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!

Put that aside. I feel lone, most of the time. It's not that I don't have friends at all..Infact, I have a lot of friends. It's just that, I have changed.  My perception of friends or friendship has changed. The surrounding has changed too. Hang out friends are now busy with their own life. I am not comfortable with new friends because I just can't click. I mean, I can joke and have fun with them but I don't feel comfortable hanging out with them. Moreover, I think it's such a waste of time hanging out everyday with someone I am not comfortable with. I want to be happy, that's all. Now, I prefer to do things alone. I walk to school alone and I don't like to go school with friends. Why? because 1st, I want to enjoy the morning with only myself, surrounding and nature, 2nd, malas nak bobual ngn diorg, 3rd..malas nak dgr criter diorg..4th, malas nk tunggu diorg because I am never late. And in class, I am always quiet and timid and I seldom be very loud. I just think that being loud might just turn people off. I don't wanna be label as the " wanna be cool kid " in school. No way! I want to be the laid back girl. :) Zaman biler nak fanatic2 ngn baju smuer kan? Bukan mcm si Lina tu..step habes. menyampah and meluat siak aku tgk. pui!!!!

I feel lonely maybe because Im so use to have a fun life back then. I used to go out everyday with friends back then but when things change, I struggled to adapt to the situation. That is why I feel lonely.