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Thursday, July 9, 2009
I texted boyfriend earlier this morning saying " miss u so badly :( ". He replied " K nari jumper i k? ". yippeeeeeeeee!! Tros smangat siket hidup. Like promised, headed to bpp and met boyfriend at McD. I am so happy I got to see him! Terubat rindu di hati! Slacked at Mc D till 7.45pm. He played war craft, I played typing maniac and guitar geek ( my new hobbies ) and we also played Left 4 Dead. I am still so bad at it. pffft! And oh, my bf dah clever pkai "pffft!" jgak. One word for you : SEBOK! After lappy-ing, headed to boyfriend's crib. His dad asked me to join them eating tulang. woah! They asked me at the right time! I was hungry, very hungry. I swear! and the tulang goes.. sluuuuuuuuurrrpppppp! and then I went buuurrrrp!!!! :) Naluri seorang perempuan. ( idk how to translate in eng ) After bf and I parted ways just now, I teared. I cannot believe I just cried. I wasn't angry nor was I sad. I just...miss him. For no apparent reason, I just feel so unstable without him. It has been quite some time since we last spend time together. I Love him, I really do. While I was at his house just now, I keep on staring at him. Upon staring, I just feel this undescribable feeling inside me. Which makes me fall in love with him, which makes me feel so bless to have him, which makes me feel so happy and secure. It's the most unbelievable and honourable thing to see him grow infront of my eyes. From thin, to medium size. From short hair to long hair and then back to short hair. From converse to vans. From normal tee to volcom tee. From unemployed to employ. From good boy to naughty boy. From private school to ngee an poly. From lazy boy to even more lazier boy. hahaha! Alot of things has happen infront of my eyes and I'm bless and greatful not to be blind because if I do, I would have miss the most beautiful thing that have ever happen. The beautiful thing that can happen in my life. It is always very hard for me to see him go to work, to school, to outing with friends, to camp and alot more. Not because I am insecure but it's because I couldn't see his smiles, his laughters, his dimple and I wouldn't want to miss all of that. I just wish I could carry him with me because I don't want to miss every single bit of his life. It's very precious to me. At times, he might get on my nerves, make me sad, angry and annoyed. And I might wanna strangle him to death and just burry him inside the soil so that he wouldn't come out and make me angry again. haha. But still, my heart never stops beating for him. Eventhough he's strict, I still love him. Off all the bad times we had gone through, I still love him. Despite every hurtful decision we made, I still love him. THAT is what I call love. It's not perfect and it can never be but, its not perfection that I want..It's you that I need. :) Shahrin, it's never been easy to see you go on your own..but for you, I'll make it easy. I Love you, very much.
3:03 AM
Yours truly.
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